


Hardship

by anderperrysupremacist



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, i miss them, my next work will be happier, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 02:43:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20382364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anderperrysupremacist/pseuds/anderperrysupremacist
Summary: Despite a lot of tension between Todd and his parents, he goes to their house for dinner with Neil after opening up to Neil. Will they survive dinner, or will all the tension boil over?





	Hardship

**Author's Note:**

> i realize that this is all over the place, and i'm sorry about that! i've had all these ideas for a long time and decided i wanted to keep them all together; that's why this is so long. my next work is going to be a lot happier than most of my other stuff. this has been in the works for a few months and i'm excited to share it with you all. enjoy!

Neil had just drifted off to sleep in his bed. It was late, about 12 A.M. Todd had already been asleep for a few hours; Neil stayed up to read. They had their window open to let the cool breeze flow in; otherwise, their room became muggy. Todd didn't do well with heat; whenever he got too warm, he'd start getting anxious, so he made sure that the window was always open.  
Welton was a rather ominous place to be at night; the hallways and rooms were all pitch black. The only sounds the boys would hear were creaky ones; the school was quite old, so it creaked often, even when everyone was sleeping in their rooms. Todd had a fear of the dark that had never quite gone away, so Neil had gotten him a night light that was plugged in on his side of the room, at the end of his bed.  
Even with the intense level of darkness in their dorm room, the nightlight did help. It gave the room a more homey feel; instead of just being a place where they slept, it felt like a home to them. It was definitely better than living with their parents, that's for sure. They could be their true selves at Welton without having to worry about their parents punishing them, telling them "you can't" or "you're not allowed." Neil felt like the boys he met at Welton had become his new family, as did Todd. Neil knew how badly Todd's parents made him feel.  
Since Neil had just barely fallen asleep, the sound of Todd's blankets being moved and the way the floor creaked when he stood was enough to wake him up. Neil was on his left side facing the wall. He turned over on his right side to see Todd crouched next to his bed.  
"Are you alright?" Neil asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.  
"C-can I, uh, t-talk to you?"  
Neil sighed sleepily and looked over at the clock on his desk, which read 12:15.  
"I-I mean, I-I can w-wait, I g-guess," Todd said quickly.  
"You're stuttering again," Neil interrupted as he slid out of bed and put his feet on the floor.  
"Y-yeah, w-well, uh-"  
"You only stutter when you're anxious. What's wrong?"  
"N-Neil, th-there's s-something I n-need to t-tell you-r-really badly."  
"What's going on?"  
"C-can I sit?"  
"Of course," Neil replied, patting an empty part of the bed to the left of him.  
"Th-thanks."  
Todd stood slowly, turned around and sat down next to Neil. He was staring at the dark brown wooden floor; he didn't want to look at Neil. Neil slowly inched his hand over to Todd's until their thumbs were touching. This startled Todd, and he jumped a little.  
"It's okay," Neil said quietly.  
Todd nodded, still staring at the floor. His breathing had become shallow and rapid.  
Neil's hand was on top of Todd's now. He look at Todd worriedly as he took hold of his hand and squeezed it slightly.  
"N-Neil?"  
"Hmm?"  
Todd averted his eyes from the floor and looked at Neil. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He tried again, but still, nothing. He couldn't get the words out. Todd shut his eyes tightly.  
"I-I c-can't."  
"It's okay."  
Todd bit his lip and his eyes returned to the floor. He shook his head.  
Neil and Todd both fell silent. Neil was watching Todd closely; he could tell how upset he was, and he was worried. Of course, Todd was completely oblivious to the fact that Neil was watching him; he was too focused on the floor. Todd closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. He had begun to tremble slightly. Neil noticed this and scooted closer to him.  
"I'm here," Neil whispered.  
Eyes shut tight, Todd nodded. He was still shaking.  
"You can tell me anything, okay? I promise it'll be okay," Neil said softly.  
Todd nodded again, but this time he broke down in tears. He hurriedly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.  
"I-I'm s-sorry, I-I'm s-so sorry."  
"It's okay," Neil replied. He squeezed Todd's hand again, a little harder this time.  
"B-but y-you kn-know how m-much I h-hate it, es-especially in fr-front of y-you."  
"I know, but it's okay. Crying in front of someone you're comfortable with can be a good thing, you know."  
"Y-yeah, I g-guess you're r-right. I-I'm s-sorry I w-woke you u-up t-to t-talk t-to y-you just t-to end u-up like th-this."  
"Don't worry about it."  
"I-I n-need to s-say it, b-but I-it's just s-so h-hard."  
"It's okay, Todd."  
Todd took another deep breath.  
"N-Neil, I-I'm tr-trans."  
Neil squeezed Todd's hand again.  
"Thank you for telling me. I'm really proud of you," Neil said gently. He leaned over and kissed Todd softly on the cheek.  
"Y-you're n-not m-mad?" Todd choked. His face was drenched in tears, and his eyes were bloodshot and swollen from all the crying.  
Neil frowned and cupped Todd's face in his hands.  
"I could never be mad at you for telling me something so important. Don't you ever think that, not even for a second."  
Neil kissed Todd's tears away. Their foreheads were touching now.  
"D-do y-you s-still l-love me?"  
"Of course."  
"Th-thank y-you."  
Neil kissed Todd's forehead, then pulled him into a hug.  
"I love you so much," he whispered.  
"I-I love y-you t-too."  
Neil let go of Todd and ruffled his hair. Todd smiled a little. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve again.  
"N-Neil? C-can w-we, uh, p-push o-our b-beds t-together?"  
"Sure," Neil said, smiling slightly.  
They both stood up. Todd stumbled over to his bed, almost falling over: he had physically and emotionally exhausted himself from all the crying.  
"Careful," Neil said.  
"Y-yep."  
Todd grabbed hold of the bedframe on his bed and pulled it away from the wall. Neil did the same to his bed, and when both beds were far enough away from the wall they got on the opposite side and pushed them together. Now they had one medium-sized bed right in the middle of their room. It looked rather strange, but it worked for them.  
They both climbed into their new bed together, and Todd rested his head on Neil's chest. Neil ran his fingers through Todd's hair; Todd loved having his hair played with, but only if his boyfriend was the one playing with it-that meant Neil, and Neil only.  
"Hey, come here," Neil said.  
"Wh-what?"  
"Come closer, silly."  
"O-oh."  
"You're still stuttering, are you okay?"  
"N-not r-really, n-no."  
Neil frowned.  
"What's wrong, love?" he asked, still running his fingers through Todd's hair. He was lovingly gazing at him.  
"I-I h-have to h-have dinner w-with my p-parents t-tomorrow. I-I don't w-want to, I d-don't w-want to s-see th-them, b-but I h-have to."  
"Would you feel better if I came with you?"  
Todd sat up and just stared at Neil. Neil sat up too.  
"Wh-what?"  
"Do you want me to come with you?"  
"N-Neil, y-you d-don't h-have to d-do th-that f-for me."  
"But would you feel safer around them if I did?"  
"Y-yeah, but-"  
"Then I'll come with you, okay?"  
"O-okay."  
Neil nodded, then reached down and pulled his shirt up over his head, tossing it over to the chair on his desk.  
"N-nice shot."  
"Thanks," Neil replied. He noticed Todd staring at his chest with fascination in his eyes. Neil giggled.  
"You're cute," he said.  
Todd was so focused on studying Neil's body that, once again, the sound of Neil's  
voice startled him out of his fixation. He gasped and then closed his eyes, laughing a little.  
"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry," Neil said, laughing as well.  
"I-it's o-okay."  
"You know you can take your shirt off too if you want, right?"  
"I c-can?"  
Neil laughed.  
"You're adorable. Of course you can; it's just us, but only if you're comfortable."  
"W-we've n-never d-done th-that b-before."  
"You don't have to if it would make you uncomfortable."  
"N-no, I-I w-want to, I-I'm j-just s-scared. I-I've n-never, uh, d-done th-this w-with a b-boy b-before."  
"It's okay to be scared. You're safe here with me. I swear I would never do anything to you. You know that, right?"  
"Y-yeah," Todd replied, looking away. He had started to tear up again. Neil noticed this and scooted over next to Todd, keeping a close eye on him.  
"S-sorry," Todd said quickly.  
"It's okay."  
"W-will y-you h-help?"  
"If you want me to, of course I will."  
Todd nodded.  
"Okay," Neil said.  
Neil slowly pulled Todd's shirt over his head. Once it was off he threw it at the chair at his desk with his own shirt. Todd's eyes were closed, and his hands were shaking.  
"Open your eyes," Neil whispered. He was holding Todd's hand.  
Todd opened his eyes. He looked down at his chest, and at the scars where he'd had his breasts removed. He looked back up at Neil. He was smiling, but there were still tears in his eyes.  
"I hope those are happy tears," Neil said. He kissed Todd's cheek.  
"H-happy a-and s-cared t-tears."  
"Hey, you made it through the hardest part. I'm proud of you."  
"Th-thanks."  
Neil nodded and laid back down.  
Todd moved over to Neil and rested his head on his chest again.  
Neil returned to playing with Todd's hair; he knew it would help him calm down and fall asleep.  
"See? It's not so scary anymore, is it?" Neil asked, his voice even more gentle now. His voice always had a certain softness to it when he was talking to Todd; this made Todd's heart melt. Every time Neil spoke to him, he fell in love with him even more than he already was.  
"N-no, i-it's n-not."  
"How are you feeling?"  
"B-better."  
"Good. Get some sleep now, okay? It's been a bad night."  
"Y-yeah."  
Neil sat up enough to give Todd a good night kiss on the forehead, then he laid back down. With his other hand, he took hold of Todd's hand and stroked it with his thumb.  
"Good night. I love you," Neil whispered.  
"I l-love y-you t-too," Todd replied.  
Todd fell asleep on Neil's chest, and with one hand intertwined with Neil's. He felt extremely safe with Neil; in fact, this was the safest he had felt in a long time.  
~  
Neil and Todd had just arrived at Todd's parents house for dinner. His parents were very conservative and traditional, so Neil and Todd decided it was probably in their best interest to wear their Welton uniforms.  
"Did you tell them I was coming?" Neil asked.  
"Yeah. I said I thought it was time they met you since we're roommates. They don't know we're uh-you know. They can't know. They'd disown me."  
"It'll be ok," Neil said softly, taking hold of Todd's hand.  
Todd was already visibly anxious: he was shaking and breathing heavy.  
"It's okay, Todd. I'm going to be right here with you the entire time."  
Todd nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. With a shaky hand, he pressed the doorbell. They heard footsteps, and Todd let go of Neil's hand just as the door opened. Thankfully, Mrs. Anderson didn't notice.  
"Hi, Mom," Todd said. His voice cracked; this happened when he hid his stutter. His parents didn't know he had one. He knew he's be ridiculed for it, like it was his fault.  
Mrs. Anderson had her light brown hair tied up in a neat bun. She had on a white t-shirt with a pink sweater covering it, and she was wearing a string of pearls around her neck. She was also wearing a long white skirt that swayed as the air from outside rushed in. She was a bit shorter than Todd, and had a slim build. Her makeup was very light and natural; it didn't even look like she was wearing any at all. Her eyes were light blue, just like Todd's.  
"Hello, Todd," Mrs. Anderson said warmly, smiling. She turned to Neil.  
"You must be Todd's roommate. What a pleasure to meet you," she said. The words dripped from her tongue like honey, and her eyes were shining like diamonds.  
Todd knew it was all fake. Nothing but a facade. He quickly glanced at Neil and then looked away, but Neil didn't notice.  
"Hello, Mrs. Anderson," Neil replied, shaking her hand, "I'm Neil Perry."  
"It's so nice to finally meet you," Mrs. Anderson replied, still smiling widely.  
"The pleasure's all mine," Neil replied cordially.  
Man, Neil really knew how to charm people, whether he was pretending or not.  
Mrs. Anderson stepped to the side of the door and gestured for the boys to enter.  
"Please, come in."  
"After you, Todd," Neil said. He quickly winked at him and smiled slyly.  
Todd entered the house with Neil following behind him, and Mrs. Anderson closed the door. They were a few inches from the door, and Neil just stood dumbfounded at how extravagant everything was. The floor tiles were red hardwood. The walls were painted a soft beige, which contrasted nicely with the flooring color. A crystal chandelier hung from the middle of the ceiling. Slightly to the left of them was the staircase, which was also red hardwood. There was a long maroon rug that ran down the entire stairscase and led to the bedrooms that were located on the second story. The walls were decked out with renaissance paintings and family photos. The room to the left of them was the kitchen, which was styled the same way—as was the living room, which was to their right. Did the Andersons know that their house lacked any sort of individuality? Their lavish home masked their cruelness; Todd had learned this from an early age. After all, he had grown up in the shadow of his older brother, Jeffrey, who was absolutely perfect in every way. The Andersons worshipped Jeffrey; he never did anything wrong in their eyes. He was perfect. Anything bad to ever happen was always blamed on Todd. Jeffrey was just as bad as his fake mother and father.  
"You have a lovely home, Mrs. Anderson," Neil said in awe, still mesmerized by the house's interior.  
Mrs. Anderson was standing in front of them now, and she blushed.  
"Oh, thank you, Neil. That's very kind," she responded with a benign smile.  
"You're welcome."  
"If you follow me," Mrs. Anderson said, gesturing to the living room on the right, "I'll introduce you to my husband."  
"Of course," Neil responded, following her into the other room.  
Todd sighed quietly as he followed behind. He was used to being ignored by his parents, but that didn't mean it didn't still sting.  
Todd's father saw them enter the room, and he stood to greet Neil. He was a tad taller than him, and he was wearing a dark green sweater and beige cargo pants. His eyes were dark brown, as was his hair, which had flecks of gray in it.  
"You must be Neil Perry," Mr. Anderson greeted Neil. He reached out his hand for a handshake, which Neil accepted; he had to.  
"It's nice to meet you, sir."  
"The pleasure is all mine."  
"Hey, Dad," Todd piped in. He was standing to the left of Neil with his hands in his pockets.  
"Hello, son," Mr. Anderson responded, placing a hand on Todd's shoulder.  
"How are things?" he asked.  
Todd glanced at Neil quickly again, then looked back at his father.  
"Things are good."  
Neil was examining Todd closely. He knew he was making up lies so his parents wouldn't know what was really going on with him. He noticed Todd's hands were trembling again.  
"That's good," Mr. Anderson responded, smiling brightly.  
Todd nodded. He looked like he was struggling to breathe, so Neil took the opportunity to save Todd from his dad asking about it.  
"Todd, can I talk to you for a minute?" Neil broke in. Todd glanced at Neil with a look of intense relief in his eyes, which weren't shining like they were whenever Neil usually spoke to him. Mr. Anderson's brow furrowed; he seemed suspicious, but Neil couldn't care less. He needed to get Todd out of there.  
"Sure," Todd said, his voice cracking.  
Mr. Anderson continued standing there,  
looking puzzled, as Neil and Todd left the room. They peeked into the kitchen and saw Mrs. Anderson getting plates from the cupboard.  
"Come with me," Todd said gently; he didn't want his parents to hear. He led Neil to the bathroom that was directly parallel to the staircase. Neil hadn't even noticed it before.  
The bathroom was quite large, there was plenty of room to walk around. It had double sink, and the toilet was right next to it. There was another crystal chandelier on the ceiling, and the bathroom mirror covered the entire length of the sink.  
The bath was to the far left of the room, directly parallel to the sink. The floor was marble tile, and the walls were cream colored. There were rugs which matched the walls at the sink and the bath. The tub was a clawfoot tub, and the towel rack was above the toilet.  
Neil shut and locked the door behind him. He turned around and saw Todd sitting on the closed toilet seat, and he practically ran over to him, kneeling in front of him.  
Todd didn't look well. He was pale, and beads of sweat were dripping from his forehead. His hands were shaking, and he was breathing rapidly.  
"Look at me," Neil said softly.  
Todd glanced up at Neil. He was still breathing extremely heavy.  
Neil grabbed Todd's hands.  
"Close your eyes," he said.  
Todd shut his eyes.  
"Take some deep breaths, okay?"  
"O-okay."  
He was trying; Neil was joining in, and although his eyes were closed too, he could hear Todd's breathing relax.  
They opened their eyes.  
"How are you feeling?" Neil asked.  
"S-sick."  
Neil frowned.  
"Make sure you drink some water. Do you think you'll be okay?"  
"I-I'll be b-better as soon as we l-leave."  
"I know," Neil replied, nodding, "I know. It'll be over soon."  
Todd nodded too. He tried standing, but stumbled a little. Neil caught him and steadied him.  
"I've got you," he said.  
He led Todd out of the bathroom, and they hurried to distance each other to make it look like they weren't just in the bathroom together.  
"Dinner's ready, you two!" Mrs. Anderson called from the dining room.  
Todd glanced at Neil.  
"I'm scared," he whispered.  
"I'll be there the whole time."  
Todd smiled a little, and they walked to the dining room together.  
"Dinner looks great, Mom," Todd said, pulling up a chair to the left.  
"Thank you, Todd," Mrs. Anderson replied, smiling.  
Neil sat to the right of Todd.  
They were having spaghetti, salad and garlic bread. Instead of them being served, it was more of a "serve yourself" meal, with everything on the table.  
"Help yourselves," Mrs. Anderson said, gesturing to the bowls of spaghetti and salad and the plate of garlic bread on the table.  
"Thank you, Mrs. Anderson," Neil replied with a smile. He took the tongs in the bowl of spaghetti and put some on his plate, and did the same for the salad. Then he grabbed a piece of garlic bread from the plate. Todd and his parents followed suit.  
"Thank you for coming tonight, Todd," Mr. Anderson said.  
"You're welcome," Todd responded. Neil noticed when Todd spoke to his parents, he didn't even look them in the eye. They didn't seem to care. Was their relationship really strained that much?  
~  
About midway into dinner, things became rather awkward; Todd's parents kept rattling on about Jeffrey, their oldest son and Todd's older brother.  
"Todd, have you heard from Jeff?" Mr. Anderson asked.  
"We, uh-we don't speak much, Dad."  
"Why not? He's your brother."  
Todd bit his lip to keep from lashing out right then and there. He was holding all of his anger in.  
"We just don't, Dad."  
"But-"  
Todd gritted his teeth. His face was red.  
"You know exactly why I don't talk to Jeff."  
Neil shushed Todd quietly enough so that only he could hear. They were holding hands under the table. Neil was trying to calm Todd as best he could; the last thing he wanted was for him to get worked up.  
They all fell silent again for a while, until Mrs. Anderson decided to make the conversation even worse and ruin dinner.  
"So, Todd," she said, twirling spaghetti around her fork, "have you given any thought to what your father and I have told you?"  
Todd froze, and again, Neil was keeping a close eye on him. The most important thing to him was to keep Todd calm.  
Right?  
"What, Mom?"  
Todd squeezed Neil's hand from under the table.  
Mr. Anderson's fork clanged against his plate and startled Todd. It was obvious he was angry.  
"You know what, Todd," he growled, "I can't have my son messing around with other boys. It's not okay."  
"Do you really have to do this right now? It's extremely inappropriate. Especially since I brought a-a friend to dinner."  
"I'm sure Neil agrees."  
Now it was Neil's turn to freeze. He was caught completely off guard, deer-in-the-headlights-style. He knew it was best to remain civil and composed, as much as he wanted to cuss out Todd's parents right then and there. He cleared his throat and exhaled.  
"Excuse me, but I'm afraid I don't quite follow."  
Todd just kept squeezing Neil's harder and harder. They had an unspoken signal; if either one of them was squeezing the other's hand hard, it was time to leave. Neil knew that Todd was signaling that they needed to leave, but they stayed seated.  
"Neil, do you know what Todd's been involved in?" Todd's dad asked.  
Neil felt a lump in his throat.  
"Uh-"  
"He's been involved with other boys; what do you think about that?"  
"With all due respect, sir, I don't think this is an appropriate discussion to have during dinner."  
Neil peered at Todd again. He was fighting back tears.  
"But we're already discussing it. Let's hear your thoughts."  
Todd broke in. His anxiety was screaming for them to leave before things got worse-and things were about to get much, much worse.  
"Mom, Dad, we need to leave-"  
"Sit down!" Mr. Anderson yelled.  
Todd finally broke and started crying.  
"Stop crying!" He yelled again.  
This time, Neil had finally had enough. He stood and slammed his fist on the table, glaring Mr. Anderson directly in the eye.  
"Don't talk to him like that! He's your son, for fuck's sake! Leave him alone!" Neil screamed. He was infuriated.  
"Neil, stop," Todd cried.  
"No," Neil said, still staring Mr. Anderson in the eye, "it's about time I stood up for you. You don't deserve this. Mr. Anderson, you and your wife can't keep treating Todd like this and then wondering why he doesn't want to see you. I'm done sitting back and watching you treat your own son like this. That's not okay. We're leaving now."  
"Neil-" Todd choked.  
"Shh, it's okay. Come on, let's go."  
They stood up to leave. Todd grabbed Neil's hand while glaring his father in the eye. He took a deep breath.  
"Neil and I aren't just friends. We're together. And if you're not okay with that, then I don't need you in my life anymore."  
They turned to leave and started walking. They had barely taken a step when they heard the booming voice of an angry Mr. Anderson.  
"You're not leaving this house!"  
Neil and Todd started running. They didn't dare look back. Neil hurried and unlocked the latch on the door and shoved it open. They just kept running and running down the street until Neil was certain that they were far enough away. Sure, Todd's father was bigger than them, but that didn't mean he was fast. And he wasn't. They had run so far that Mr. Anderson was just a speck in the distance. He had barely made it out the front door. He was yelling something at them, but they were too far away to hear. Todd was so exhausted from running and so sick from crying that he collapsed on the neighbor's lawn and threw up.  
Neil bent down and started rubbing Todd's back.  
"Todd, look at me."  
"N-no."  
Neil guided Todd's face towards his with his fingers.  
"How do you feel?"  
"B-bad."  
"Do you think you'll be able to walk back home?"  
"I-I d-don't kn-know. I-I'm s-so-d-dizzy."  
"I don't think you should try walking if you're dizzy," Neil said, pulling out his phone.  
"W-what are you d-doing?"  
"I'm calling Charlie to come get us," Neil replied, putting the phone up to his ear.  
Pick up. Please, pick up, Neil thought to himself. He waited a few minutes, then heard a click.  
"Hello?" Charlie asked. His voice sounded tired, like he had been woken up.  
"Charlie?"  
"Neil? Are you okay?"  
"Todd and I just had dinner with Todd's parents and it ended up being a mess. Todd threw up; he's dizzy and I doubt he can make the walk back. Can you come pick us up?"  
"Shit, Neil, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll be right there. Hang tight and don't move."  
"Thanks, Charlie."  
"You're welcome."  
Neil heard another click at the end of the other line to signal the end of the call, and he put his phone back into his pocket. He looked back at Todd.  
Todd still wasn't doing any better. He was on his hands and knees in the grass, and he was sobbing so hard that his hands and shoulders were trembling. His knuckles were red because of how hard he was clutching the grass. His hair was dishelved and clinging to the wet tears on his face. His face had lost its color.  
"N-Neil?" Todd cried.  
"Yeah?" Neil asked, looking at his love with a melancholic look.  
"I-I'm s-so s-sorry."  
"What? What are you sorry for?" Neil asked, his brow furrowed.  
"E-everything."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I-I never sh-should have a-asked you t-to come t-to dinner."  
"Todd, this isn't your fault."  
"Y-yes it is."  
"No, it's not. Don't say that. It's your parent's fault."  
"B-but-"  
"Shh, just relax, okay? You're going to get yourself all worked up again."  
Todd nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. He slowly stood up and sat down next to Neil, who put an arm around him.  
They only had to wait a few minutes for Charlie to show up. He parked a few feet away from them, at the house across the street from them. He got out of the car-one of Welton's school cars-and ran over to them.  
"Are you guys okay?"  
"I think we'll both be better once we're far away from Todd's parents," Neil said.  
"What happened?"  
"Todd's dad interrogated him about liking boys at the dinner table in front of me, and then he screamed at him when he got upset. When we tried to leave he started chasing us."  
"Fuck, really? I'm so sorry."  
Todd was looking down at the ground now. He did that whenever he started crying and didn't want anyone else to say.  
"Are you guys ready to get out of here?" Charlie asked.  
Neil and Todd both nodded, and they walked to the car with Charlie. He unlocked the driver side door and both backseat passenger doors.  
"I just assumed you guys would want to sit in the backseat together, so if one of you wants to sit up front with me, that's fine too."  
"No, it's okay," Neil replied. "I want to be with Todd."  
"I want to be with Neil, too," Todd spoke up.  
Charlie nodded and got into the driver's seat. Neil got in the left backseat, and Todd got in the right.  
"You guys good back there?" Charlie asked, checking the mirrors.  
"We're good," Neil said.  
Charlie nodded, locking the doors and starting the car. They weren't too far from Welton, so it only took a few minutes for them to get home. Neil held Todd's hand on the ride back. Charlie parked the car and they all entered the school. They all tried their hardest to be quiet; it was late, and all of the boys were supposed to be in their dorms for the night by now. If anyone found out they had snuck out past curfew...  
"You guys good from here?" Charlie whispered when they were all standing outside their dorms.  
"I'm good. Todd?" Neil asked.  
"I'm okay," Todd said.  
"If you guys need anything, just let me know."  
"Thank you, Charlie."  
"Sure thing,"  
Charlie nodded, and quietly entered his dorm room, and Neil and Todd entered theirs.  
Their beds were still pushed together from the night before, and they both resisted the urge to go to bed withour even bothering to change into their pajamas-sleeping in their uniforms would not be comfortable at all.  
"Are you still dizzy?"  
"Y-yeah."  
"Do you want me to help you change?"  
"Uh-I don't know."  
"I don't mind helping, I promise. I'd rather help you and you avoid getting hurt from being dizzy than not help you and have you get hurt."  
"Alright, alright. I can't say no to you."  
Neil smiled. He pointed to their bed.  
"Go sit down and I'll get the pajamas," he said.  
Todd obliged and slowly made his way to the bed and sat down-he was still dizzy, and he knew if he walked at his normal speed that it would make it worse and he could get sick again.  
Neil pulled both of their pairs of pajamas out of thd closet and laid them on the bed next to Todd.  
"Here, let me help, okay?"  
Todd nodded.  
Neil knelt down in front of Todd and removed his shoes, putting them under the bed.  
"Can you stand up for me?"  
"Uh-huh," Todd replied, standing up.  
Neil helped Todd take off the top half of his uniform. He could tell that Todd being shirtless in front of him still made him uncomfortable because of his top surgery scars. He crossed his arms in front of him so Neil couldn't see them.  
"You don't need to hide your scars from me, okay? There's no need to be self-concious about them in front of me. You know I love you and your scars don't bother me, right?"  
Todd uncrossed him arms slowly.  
"I guess I just needed to hear you say it," he said quietly.  
"It's okay," Neil said softly.  
Neil helped Todd put his pajama top on, then take off his pants and put his pajama pants on.  
"Better?"  
"Better."  
Todd pulled back the covers on his side of their bed that was actually two beds squished together, and scooted inside. He pulled the covers up to his chin and turned on his left side to look at Neil.  
Neil had his shirt off to change, and Todd was pretending like he wasn't totally staring at his boyfriend's chest. Neil noticed this and laughed.  
"You're allowed to look at me while I'm naked, Todd."  
"I am?"  
Neil laughed again.  
"You're cute."  
"Thanks," Todd replied, smiling.  
"You're welcome."  
Neil had finished changing, and slid into bed next to Todd, snuggling up to him and kissing his head.  
"Good night, sweet prince," 

*

Todd awoke to the sound of the door creaking.  
He groaned, pulling the covers over his head.  
"Did I wake you up?" Neil asked softly.  
"Yeah."  
"I'm sorry. But I brought you some food."  
Todd could smell said food, and it smelled absolutely outstanding.  
"You brought me breakfast?" Todd asked, emerging from under the covers.  
"I know last night was awful, and I noticed you barely ate when we were there, so I thought I would go get out and get you some breakfast."  
Todd was smiling from ear to ear. Nobody had ever gone out to get him food before and then surprise him with it.  
"Yeah," Neil said, nodding, "all of your favorites." He carried the bag over to Todd and handed it to him. Todd pulled out the multiple boxes of food and opened them all to see what was in each one: one box contained pancakes, one had hashbrowns, and the final had biscuits. He closed all of them and looked over at Neil, who was trying to hide his smile.  
"You really know all of my favorite breakfast foods?"  
"Of course I do," Neil replied, sitting down on the bed next to Todd.  
"Neil, you didn't have to do this for me."  
"Only I did, because you deserve it. You deserve someone who knows all your favorite foods and will get them for you when you're going through a bad time."  
Tears had welled up in Todd's eyes,  
but he was smiling like he'd never smiled before.  
"I love you so much," he said.  
"I love you, too," Neil replied, kissing Todd's hand.


End file.
